Recognizing Patterns



Recognizing Co-Dependent Patterns


How can you tell if you're co-dependent? The patterns and characteristics below are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. They may be particularly helpful to newcomers who are trying to decide whether they could benefit from the program of CoDependents Anonymous.


Denial Patterns

Codependents:
  • have difficulty identifying feelings
  • minimize, alter or deny their feelings
  • perceive themselves as being completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others



    • Low Self-Esteem Patterns

    Codependents:
  • have difficulty making decisions
  • judge their thoughts, words and actions harshly, as never being good enough
  • are embarrassed to receive recognition, praise or gifts
  • are unable to ask others to meet their needs or wants
  • value other people's approval of their thoughts, feelings and behaviors over self-approval



    • Compliance Patterns

    Codependents:
  • compromise their values and integrity to avoid rejection and other people's anger
  • are very sensitive to others' feelings and adopt the same feelings
  • are extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long
  • place a higher value on others' opinions and feelings
  • are afraid to express differing viewpoints or feelings
  • put aside personal interests and hobbies to do what others' want
  • accept sex as a substitute for love



    • Control Patterns

    Codependents:
  • believe most others are incapable of caring for themselves
  • attempt to convince others what they should think or feel
  • become resentful when others refuse their offers of help
  • freely offer advice and guidance without being asked
  • lavish gifts and favors on those they care about
  • use sex to gain approval and acceptance
  • have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others